"I HATE...FUN...IN THE GARDEN"
JUST STOP IT ALREADY!
Of course, great friends, ever ready to point out the total hypocrisy and ridiculousness of my statement took it to new levels and proceeding to regurgitate (I hate fun in the garden) ever time it seemed appropriate! I'm glad they are all getting a good giggle out of it.
Lets be honest, our gardening culture in the USA was mostly for the wealthy in the past, great estates and some amazing gardens where created and some great work is still going on today. Gardening has caught on as a national past time in recent years and I'm thrilled to see interest in all things design, gardening and horticulture. But we have the classic USA side effect. Our culture tries and break down the components that make up a great garden into the cheapest, fastest, McGarden...way and feed it to the masses. I have no data tis true, but I'm thinking the majority of people in this country think that a weekend makeover team could create their garden on a 2,000 budget.
Great gardeners that didn't have money in the past used, time, hard work, persistence, and creative thought to create there gardens. Even the gardens I work on today that have budgets larger than the cost of most peoples houses takes years to create and many seasons of hard work.
What I really dislike is that because we are all supposed to be so warm and fuzzy, nice and politically correct, we no longer call a spade a spade. Instead we have cheery, usually pretty hosts telling us to glue gun a Mosaic top on 5 dollar table for outdoors or paint some colorful blobs on the side of a garage and call it art. Its not art...its crap...okay...its cheap tacky crap...hey I'm all for cheap tacky crap....if its is properly identified as such...but what burns my butt is that its passed off as real design or a cheap way to get a high end look. That's a huge insult to true craftsman and artists everywhere that spend years honing there craft.
I'm pro democracy and power of the people and all that stuff....but many people have little background, history or even a vocabulary to discuss garden design ideas and concepts. I would like to champion greater and deeper understanding of garden design. Some history of gardens and a deeper appreciation for the stone mason, the carpenters, the metal smiths and designers and architects that work tireless sometimes for years to create something magical. I don't mean to get off on a rant here.....
So here goes another lists of things that are really no fun in the garden.
1. little statues...lions, birds, frogs, cranes, cherubs....AND YES including gnomes
2. The word "cute"
3. Garland of flowers motif on anything
4. gazing balls (Bad Victorian idea....they had many)
5. multi colored bird houses
6. Decorative items on garden stakes: Like dragonflies or butterflies
7. Decorative concrete step stones with impressions of leaves or flowers on them
8. Plaques & signs with warm greetings or statements of love....what...ever!
9. Junk masquerading as eccentric collections strewn throughout the garden
What to do instead?
I'm going to try my best with every entry to offer some alternative ideas. It really isn't good enough just to tell you what I don't like, so in that spirit I offer the following.
THINGS THAT ARE REALLY BEAUTIFUL IN A GARDEN
1. Classic dry stacked stone walls
2. Good terracotta containers especially large scale ones
3. High quality cast stone/concrete containers
4. Garden antiques (if your budget allows)
5. Wood Versailles boxes
6. Obelisks and tuteurs of good scale 6' H made of wood or metal
7. Tanks: metal or stone
8. Formal water features made of stone built into walls or ground.
9. Pea gravel paths
10. Local natural materials in your area: stone, brick, and plants
11. Beautifully crafted pergolas and arbors in wood, stone or metal
